Change the Plan
At 23 years old, I am living in what probably is going to be the biggest transitioning moment in my life. I have graduated college, found my feet dipping in the chilly waters of what I thought would be my career, and experienced my first “real” heartbreak. I have closed doors, unaware of the potential that lies behind them and walked through ones which lead only to disaster. I have made many mistakes, thankfully learning from most, but yet continue to fall short at times. I’ve mastered early morning lunch box packing and late night spelling test practice, making me mom of the year! My sleep tends only to be naps scheduled by an iPhone alarm and my days blend together. One might call this the “real-world”, if so, take me to Alice’s Wonderland.
Life happens so fast! We cannot see our future so we tend to live day by day hoping that our decisions lead to success or go according to the plan. Society, religion, peers, and even family members always stress that we must have a plan for life. While this advice is great, I feel as though it is not given in the correct context. You see, life itself cannot be planned. At 16 years old when I gave birth to my daughter, my life changed forever and my “plan” no longer existed. When a basketball player breaks his leg in the last game of his college career, his “plan” has changed. The only thing that is constant in life is change, and unfortunately we do not have the ability to control change in anything other than ourselves. We must not live life according to a “plan” but rather prepare for the transitioning moments that I shared above.
Don’t misunderstand, there are plans that need to be set in order to move forward, however, you must be prepared if those plans are interrupted. In my personal life I have followed a few steps to help me become the best me. Even through the stress of daily struggles, I still try to find time in the day to acknowledge my own needs. Accepting the fact that people, circumstances, living situations, education, technology, and that everything else in the world changes has allowed me to rest easy in who I am. I can only change me, nothing else, only me. On a daily basis I am aware of things that I can do to make my life easier and to reach my highest point of greatness.
-Visualizing your goals/dreams- I am a firm believer of visualization. It is important to not only verbalize your goals and ambitions, but visualize them. Believe them. Write out what you want your life to look like in 5 years, 10 years from now. This is an essential part to becoming who you’ve dreamed to be.
-Be prepared to make difficult decisions- Life is not easy. There are many decisions that play a significant role in your future and obtaining your goals. Think about your options and visualize ALL possibilities. Think about the outcomes both positive and negative and evaluate the risks that go along with them. No matter how difficult the decision might be in any angle of your life, always bring it back to the dream you visualized. If the decision will prevent you from reaching that specific goal or does not align with your deepest desire, than reevaluate the decision.
-Forgiveness- Forgiveness has honestly moved mountains in my life and while it’s not easy and it takes time, the burden that was lifted from my spirit is unexplainable. You have to forgive your past, all of it, and all of the people in it who have hurt you. Without that forgiveness, you will never be able to grow because you’ll be held back by the pain and anger that un forgiveness holds. If allowed, guilt can take over your life and consume your ability to change yourself, forgiving yourself and others leads to freedom. Letting go of the past is not something that happens overnight, you must practice forgiveness. Try writing a letter of forgiveness to yourself with specific details and read it as often as possible. Eventually you will recognize the change and growth within yourself.
-Find a healthy support system- Notice I used the word healthy to describe a much needed support system. You need to find people who are working towards bettering themselves and who have visualized their own dreams. It can be easy to surround yourself with the same group of friends that you’ve always had because it’s comfortable and change is scary. In order to find your greatness and be ready for a transition you MUST surround yourself with people who support your dream and can actually envision it for you.
While everyone’s story to success is very different, external change remains constant. Being secure in who you are and having the ability to adapt to change by working on yourself will ensure a successful outcome in any situation. Neglecting your needs based on the demand to follow a specific plan may be harmful. “Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket” and prepare yourself for all outcomes. Finding your greatness allows you to sustain a feeling of worthiness; you are capable of becoming everything you’ve dreamed of.
I care about my success, I care about my dreams, I Care About ME!